her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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