I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
