I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
