so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
