i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
