Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
