I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
operation harelip BJ is a go
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
