hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
