I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize