piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
