Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
