could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
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