I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
