Just fell off a train. Bad.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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