We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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