I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize