Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
