Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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