i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
