bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
