When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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