so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
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He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
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My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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