3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
