Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
