Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
