is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
