My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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