You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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