Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
