im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
