quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
