so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
