Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
