shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
