her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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