And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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