How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
