I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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