After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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