What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
