I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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