I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
