U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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