guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
