Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
