i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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