my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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