Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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