roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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