fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize