There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
