awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
