bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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