You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
