I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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