blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Never underestimate the power of titties
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