I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
