I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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