i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize