Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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