someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
