yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
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You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
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I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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