Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
