Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
