Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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