Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
