You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
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Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
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Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize