I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
